You Might Be A Goth If...
(Graphics-intensive original is here)
Note: This list was compiled by Miamigoths, so a few of the questions are somewhat regionally-oriented!

  • You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
  • You wear sunglasses in the produce department at night
  • You won't get in a fight because it might smudge your make up
  • You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face
  • People can't tell whether you're searching for a missing contact or dancing
  • The only day you feel normal is Halloween
  • You don't know whether the person you're sleeping with is male or female until you're actually in bed with them
  • You don't care
  • The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"
  • You were rooting for the vampires in "From Dusk Til Dawn", "Lost Boys", etc.
  • The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
  • You watch Sesame Street as an adult just to see The Count
  • You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
  • You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"
  • You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
  • You think anything dead is pretty
  • You refer to your age in mortal years
  • You give yourself the honorary title of Lord or Lady
  • You know what a Malkavian is
  • You know what a Malkavian is because you've been there, done that and
  • You have the t-shirt
  • You dressed as The Crow for Halloween one year
  • You have dressed as The Crow for Halloween the past few years
  • The club you frequent has concocted an original drink called "The Vampire's Kiss"
  • You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
  • You think blood is "pretty"
  • Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years
  • You've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
  • You own 16 or more Cleopatra c.d.'s
  • You own even 1 Projekt c.d.
  • Friday the Thirteenth is your lucky day
  • You can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier
  • You decide Wednesday blows them both away
  • You could easily blow $500 in a Halloween store
  • You could spend all $500 on just make up
  • You were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait of two farmers
  • You claim the Chupacabra is a friend/relative of yours
  • You own a hearse
  • You own a hearse and don't work in a funeral parlor
  • You keep a coffin in the back as "decoration"
  • You keep a coffin in the back as a bed
  • You think of the hearse as the "family car"
  • You think heresy is a religion
  • You claim heresy as YOUR religion
  • You own a rosary that you wear
  • You own many rosaries that you wear
  • You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearview mirror in your car
  • You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000 years
  • You wish to name your first born Lestat
  • You plan to name your first born after ANY Anne Rice character
  • You didn't know they were characters
  • Your purse is large, square and metal
  • The purse has scratches from being used in a fight
  • It has scratches from being kicked on the dance floor
  • This is the reason it was scratched in a fight
  • You think bats are "cute"
  • You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires
  • You can debate both sides of that argument
  • You've participated in one of those "Do you think Tom Cruise was good as Lestat?" conversations
  • You've started one of those conversations
  • You saw Valor on the street, you would throw your large, metal purse at him
  • You and your friends enjoy congregating in a local graveyard
  • No one you know is buried there
  • You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards
  • You take pictures of the gravestones while reciting Oscar Wylde or singing "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths
  • You know the words to "Cemetry Gates" by The Smiths
  • You know who The Smiths are
  • Your favorite poem is "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe
  • Your favorite poem is "Metamorphosis of a Vampire" by Charles Baudelaire
  • You spell Vampire either Vampyre or Vamphyre
  • Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to
  • Your girlfriend complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does
  • You refer to others as "The Normals"
  • You refer to our leather-clad brethren as "Those Industrialites" or "Industrial-heads"
  • You go to South Beach, but have never seen the ocean Miamigoth question!
  • You can reminisce through all 4 locations of The Kitchen Club and 2 of The ChurchMiamigoth question!
  • You put on The Wake and practice dancing in front of the mirror
  • You practice with your own personal strobe AND blacklight
  • You are too poor to afford either and stole the lights off the Christmas tree
  • You can't even tell whether you're looking for a missing contact or dancing
  • You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
  • When someone else "discovers" your favorite band, you find another favorite band
  • Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
  • Jehovah's Witnesses accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
  • You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
  • Satanists just look at you and smile
  • You laugh hysterically during those Church Of Latter-Day Saints commercials
  • You call for the free Bible anyway
  • You take great pleasure in vandalizing said Bible after waiting impatiently by your mailbox for 4-6 weeks
  • You stop vandalizing the Bible momentarily to look up Psalm 69
  • In your honest opinion, the image of Jesus ruins the beauty and natural fluidity of the cross
  • You've been with your significant other for over a year and still wonder what they look like without make up
  • You and your boyfriend fight over make up
  • You decide to get matching his/hers make up caddies to separate your make up
  • You smudge your lipstick on purpose to look like Robert Smith
  • You eat those limited edition pop-tarts just because they have bats on them
  • You save them because Hey!...they're limited edition
  • You call them goth-tarts
  • You know what Renfield's Disease is
  • You have Renfield's Disease
  • You have taken anything on this list personally
  • You were offended

    Copyright 8-97
    Shana Tims and Erica Garcia