> >...or a fancy dessert you want to trade for oral sex...
>
> Is this retroactive?
A Stated Policy on Desserts and Oral Sex is clearly needed.
(1) If you bring a dessert then you are entitled to oral sex. The oral
sex, however, need not be better than the dessert. So, if you bring
Froot Loop Treats (no offense intended to the recent donor of Froot
Loop Treats) then you get the oral sex equivalent of Froot Loops.
(2) If you've been on the giving end of oral sex (during d-a-a-m) then
you are entitled to claim dessert. Similarly, the dessert need not be
better than the oral sex.
(3) If you have been on the receiving end of oral sex (during d-a-a-m)
then you must donate a dessert.
You have a right to request a recipe or donor when you are claiming
dessert or oral sex. If you are not satisfied with what you receive
then an independent and impartial panel will be assembled to sample
the oral sex or dessert in question. The panel will be as subjective
as possible, taking your food allergies, sweet teeth, and kinks into
account.
In the event of a non-specific claim for dessert or oral sex, one will
be appointed to you. In the event of a contention of who gets to, or
who has to, give you oral sex or make a dessert, a mediator will make
an appointment. In certain cases, when it is deemed appropriate by
the mediator, the mediator will personally see to the claimees
satisfaction. As the founder of d-a-a-m it is my obligation to see
that the guests are satisfied, so I will be the default mediator.
So mote it be.