From: andsol@cml.rice.edu (Andrew Solberg)
Newsgroups: alt.pub.dragons-inn
Subject: You Say It, I'll Sing It
Date: 5 Dec 1994 08:54:41 GMT


A simply beautiful day in the Plaza of Returning Knights Victorious. Not a 
cloud in the sky; sun beaming down warmly (but not hotly, thanks to a nice
breeze off the ocean); the smell from the dump mercifully blowing in some
other direction.  A fine day for walking, or trading, or riding, or just
about anything.        

Including playing the lute for money, Listener supposes.

Or so one would think.  But the crowds, though cheerful and free with their
money at the vendor stands, seem unwilling to flick a few shekels in the
direction of an elvish bard errant.  This annoys Listener immensely,    
particularly since he is so tremendously talented, modest, noble-hearted
and delicious to behold.  He's even playing well today.

          ....Now me lads I needs must leave you,
          My intention's not to grieve you,
          Nor would I deceive you, so I'll seek you in a while/
          I must find a way to gain her,
          To court her and to tame her,
          For I fear my heart's in danger of the Queen of all Argyll!

          And if you could have seen her there,
          Boys, if you had just been there!
          The swan was in her movement
          And the morning in her smile/
          All the roses in the garden
          Would bow and ask her pardon
          For not one could match the beauty
          Of the Queen of all Argyll.....

Listener strums the last chord of his fine new song, which he only learned
a few days prior from a bewildered-looking trader, and looks down into his 
lute-case.  Two copper wedges and the bone from a pheasant leg.  Bah!

The bard closes up shop and pushes through the crowds on his way through
the streets of Generica.  He instinctively heads for the Dragon's Inn --
a place where money is rarely freely given, but other matters of interest
are frequently afoot.  Further, one never knows when some flush adventurer
might decide that a certain song is worth a paltry emerald or two.  Besides,
sometimes Littlefair is feeling generous with the food.

Pushing open the familiar green doors, Listener is surprised to find a
fairly large midday crowd.  Adventurers tend to be night-owls, he has
found, so playing this tavern usually only turns a profit at night.  If
he'd known there were people here, Listener muses, he wouldn't have 
wasted two thirsty hours crooning to a bazaar-ful of ungrateful Visigoths.

One step on a trestle table; two to the mantelpiece; three steps gains
Listener his customary perch in the blackened rafters of the Inn's roof.
He unpacks and tunes his lute, pausing only to skyhook an ale conveniently
passing by on a high-held tray.  His throat wetted, he clears it and speaks:

"Right!  Your attention, you louts! 

"I, Listener, possibly the greatest minstrel ever to grace the beams of
 this house of ill repute, shall sing for you.  Please, no applause.  Okay,
 some applause.  A little? anybody?

"Never mind.  I'm singing here.  What am I singing?  Such a dilemma!

"The Gods know I'm terrible with decisions.  Today I couldn't decide which
 pair of leggings to wear.  And I only have one pair to my name.  That's
 sad, ladies and gents.  Yes, both my poverty *and* my humor.  Thank you,
 sir.  Go away.

"I shall sing anything you request.  It may not be the exact song you
 expected to hear, but you'll get a song for your money, which I'm hoping
 will be copious, unless you're all CHEAP.

"I sure do hope somebody requests SOMETHING.  It would be a terrible,
 awful thing is NOBODY requests anything, because then I'd have to drag
 out the default bard song, which is 'My Charona', and I'm sure nobody
 wants that to happen.  Least of all me.

"So give me a song title.  Maybe I know it; if I do, I'll play it.  Maybe
 I don't know it; if I don't, I'll make some lyrics up.  You can't lose.

"Requests, anybody?"

Listener starts softly humming MUH-MUH-MUH-MYYYY.... under his breath, 
as if in warning....

-- 
HWRNMNBSOL = Andrew J. Solberg, Visiting Prof. at Rice U. from U. of
Oslo