Date: Mon, 7 Oct 1996 22:52:38 -0400
From: Kafka Dreams <kjc@[APOCALYPSE]>
To: void
Subject: the joys of tech support


I wrote a song today.

I wrote it for a lot of people.

I wrote it for the 3 out of 4 departments who blew off my meeting this
morning after making me get up early to run it.

I wrote it for the customer who made me pre-build a complicated filter
to be uploaded at a specific time then called in 45 minutes late and
completely changed his request.

I wrote it for the customer who, after SCREAMIN' & YELLIN' & makin' me
spend 4 hours trouble-shooting a huge knotty rusted WRETCHED problem
actually LOOKED AT HIS DAMN LAN and discovered (once I'd given up &
passed the problem on to the next level) that someone had made a TYPO
on his firewall.

In fact, I wrote it for a number of my more SPECIAL customers.

It's a Country Western song, cuz I felt that genre could best capture
my mood.

It's a love song.

Mostly cuz I love singing it.

It's called:

	"I Hate You...
	 But Yer Too Damn Dumb To Notice"

And it goes exactly like this -

	I hate you,
	And yer little dog too...
	I hate you,
	Wanna strangle you with a nooooose...
	I hate you,
	Oh I swear it's truuuuue...

	I! Hate! You!
	But yer just too dumb
	To notice.

	I hate you,
	So quit smilin' ya freak...
	I hate you,
	No one wants to hear you speak...
	I hate you,
	One more question and I'll shriek...

	I! Hate! You!
	But yer just too dumb
	To notice.

	I hate you,
	Gonna cut you in two...
	I hate you,
	I'll make a really stinky stew...
	I hate you,
	I'm gonna boil your rotting corpse down to a thick n' pasty
	  pudding and force feed it to your parents because they GAVE
	  BIRTH TO YOU and I'm gonna stuff it down your friends'
	  throats because THEY LET YOU LIVE and I'm going to make
	  everyone who ever KNEW YOU SPEW! 

	BECAUSE! I! HATE! YOU!

	BUT yer just TOO damn dumb
	To notice.

			Kelly J. Cooper
			10-7-96