Hobbit sez:
>This implies that the only way I can find out FOR MYSELF, instead of having
>ten people tell me "16 biz days", is to send mail, whether it contains a
>new domain registration or not. If I don't want to register a new domain,
>I have to send them noise.
>
>Right? This is a literal interpretation.
Well... I was gonna say that if you want to know what's goin' on, ask
yer network provider or ask yer friends.
But. If ya wanna know for yourself...
Ya gotta call the InterNIC... ya gotta call 'em while yer hot and
bothered and ya got FOAM just comin' up round the edges of your
mouth...
Ya call 'em and ya start slow... ya say "hooooww loooong before my
domain is registered?" an' when they start to waffle, I mean, when
they start to tell you about the delays and the problems and the
backlog, you start quavering a little and you say "H-h-h-ow?
L-l-l-ong? Didja say THREE WEEKS?! DIDJA?! I mean THREE WEEKS! THE
FUNDIES, I say, THE FUNDIES CLAIM YOU CAN MAKE A WHOLE BABY IN THREE
WEEKS! Th-th-THAT l-l-long? Huh? That long?"
And when they start to back-peddle a little, just to get yer number
By this point they're either babbling at your or they've hung up. If
So now, ya gotta HOLD THE PHONE about 2 feet in front of your FACE and
"CONNECT ME! UPDATE ME! 'A' RECORD ME! DO IT FOR ME NOW! I NEED TO
And then, when they're just kinda gibbering there and sobbing on the
Works for me.
Kelly J. Cooper, copyright 1995, all rights reserved.
and get you RIGHT THE HELL OFF THE PHONE, then ya gotta start
warbling... I say warbling, not quite shrieking, just start quavering
and yetting right up there 'round that scream level, and the spittle
is flying out yer mouth and coating the phone and dripping down onto
your hospital gown, then ya gotta start moaning a little and hollering
"I THINK THAT'S a little LONG... L-l-l-LONG! DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A
rEaLlY LOOOONG TIME
MEAN I NEED IT MAN! IT'S IMPORTANT SHIT HERE MAN! THEY _WON'T_ LET
ME OUT OF HERE UNTIL I SET UP THEIR NETWORK MAN AND MAN I WANT _OUT_
AND I WANT OUT _NOW_!"
you've built it up right, they're just scrabbling to deal because
they've had it drilled into them that you HAVE to deal with the
customer, no matter how scary.
start REALLY YELLING!
BE CONNECTED! I WANT THE NET! I WANNA UPLOAD MYSELF! WILL YOU BE MY
NAMESERVER _BABY_?! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT _DO_ _IT_ _NOW_!!!"
other end of the line, wipe the spit off your face and ask, in a
perfectly normal voice, "How long did you say until I'm registered?"
Back up to FLAMAGE