Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 13:58:10 -0500
From: Kafka Dreams <kjc@[APOCALYPSE]>
To: void
Subject: multi-dimensionality


Flatness is pissing me off.  I am bored with two dimensions.

I want to make the Internet dance.  I want the web to warp and spin
and move like a toy.  I don't want none of this 

  shockwave-crashes-my-out-of-date-browser crap

or

  jumpy-pixelated-video-with-spotty-sound stupidity

...just because the network's a little clogged or my machine isn't up
to par or I don't have the latest goo-catcher software or bit-flippin'
memory chip or clutch-free bandwidth link.

Flatness, text and incompatibility are ALL boring.  

Auto-compensators and magic upgrades are where it's at.  Let's forget
how it actually works, how packets are supposed to move, and make the
whole thing over in perfect hues of perfection!

To start, more dimensions would help - I could reach into the screen
and throttle a few people, or dive into a blue blue ocean and be wet
and warm and free, or create art while having random synapses fired by
monkeys made of light.

And if we've got to have emoticons, they might as well emote!  I
should SEE the sheepish grin, HEAR the rasberry, appreciate the WINK!

I want surround sound and smell-O-vision... laughing, barking dogs
jumping around and waiting to fetch, smelling like wet mammal in the
morning dew, bringing tidbits of things they know I like from the
larger Internet while hiding my preferences from prying eyes and
growling at probes and scans and attacks.  BEWARE OF DOG!  Intruders
will suffer bitrot!  Happy dogs that will never die because we have
backups!  

I want the 3-D, 4-D, 42-DD full-bodied experience.  I want the
Internet to entertain ME instead of me having to protect it and fix it
and try to keep it working above par, if at all.

I want a better distraction from the things my life is lacking.