From: Kelly J. Cooper (kjc@aramis [OLD RUTGERS ADDRESS])
Subject: I could crunch you like little fish crackers...
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Date: 1994-05-02 16:46:38 PST

I had another dream this morning.  By another dream I mean simply
another one that I both remember and that is vivid enough to make a
distinct impression.  

I dreamt I was in a village, just passing through I believe, when I
was picked by a local Goddess to be her avatar.  I had the sense that
she thought choosing a non-believer as her avatar was both highly
amusing and ironic.  So she chose me and thick scars rose up on my
arms... I began to feel very strange.

By bending my right hand to my shoulder and lifting my elbow, I could
see a raised scar, like a quarter-inch thick, knotted, reddish (purple
at the edges) rope of raised flesh about three inches long and in the
shape of an arrow pointing away from me.  An arrow of the same colors
and dimensions pointed toward me on my left elbow.  I think each arm
had a second arrow on the underside of my elbow.  I did not understand
what they meant until I straightened my arms and realized that my left
arm was output (I am left-handed) and my right arm was input (I could
touch things and receive impressions).  With my left hand I could
impart blessings.  With my right, I could receive memories or power.

On the inside of each of my elbows, in the fleshy parts of my
forearms, was the same image of a circle almost complete, but open in
one small part.  These symbols were also scars, but smoother, thinner,
less ragged and rough looking.  The line that should have completed
the circle was bent sharply inward, creating an acute angle.  It look
vaguely like a highly stylized G.  This was her symbol.  The symbol of
my Goddess.

In each arm I had a small blue bead on a golden pin.  The pins were
about half an inch long.  They were each embedded in the flesh of my
forearm (about halfway between my wrist and elbow) all the way up the
pin, so that only the beads were showing on the surface of my skin.
These were my pain collectors and they hurt like nothing I've ever
felt before.  All the pain of my new scars went there, as did the
burning feeling of becoming an avatar.  They ached and pulsed and hurt
like hell until they had absorbed it all... then they fell out.  The
feeling of relief was as intense as the pain had been.

I kept wondering what had happened to me... wondering if I looked
different, if my face had changed or if there were more scars on my
throat or cheeks.  I finally found a broken window where I could see a
somewhat distorted reflection of myself and I looked wild.  My hair
was everywhere and my eyes had that light you see in lunatics and holy
people.  It was as if there was someone else with me behind my eyes.

The dream went on, but I don't remember the details of what I did...
Eventually I woke up disoriented, looking for the scars and wondering
where they'd gone.  I'd gotten used to them and there was a strange
absence of the feeling of power that had been in them and the
connection with the Goddess who'd chosen me.  

(The power, I realize now, was that of thousands and thousands of tiny
truths.  The truth of trees and rocks, people's thoughts and
feelings... the truth of houses and the truth of the roads and the
truth of glass... truth beyond perception.  Tiny fragments of an
absolute.)

And as I woke up, she was laughing at me...

--
Kelly J. Cooper
      Pins & needles...